5 Tips for Getting Over Your Divorce

March 29, 2018  •  Leave a Comment

Divorce is a life altering experience regardless of what causes the divorce.   I’ve been there, I know this first hand.  It takes time to reorient yourself.   As you are figuring out the direction to go in you are likely to be looking for things that can bring positive energy into your life.  You need to be doing something that makes YOU feel good.  

Here are 5 tips that you can use to help you recover from a divorce.

  1. Learn to appreciate the things you have in your life. In dark times it’s easy to think about the things you don’t have.  Thinking about the things you don’t have is a way of punishing yourself.   Look around you and recognize what you do have and what accomplishments you have achieved.  Many people find it hard to self evaluate their accomplishments.   If that’s you then ask a friend to help.   You might find that people not in the eye of your personal storm can give you a better perspective on your accomplishments.   They aren’t tied to the negative energy of the divorce the way you are.  Sometimes they can see you in ways you can’t see yourself.
  2. Try something new.   Every marriage has patterns.  Humans form habits easily.   Trying something new is a great way to establish something that is yours apart from your marriage and your past.   You are creating new memories.  Don’t fall back on old habits, make new ones.  Push yourself a little.   See yourself in a new light.
  3. Focus on Your Future.   One of my favourite expressions is “rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean”.   Playing the woulda, coulda, shoulda game keeps you in the past.   Look forward.   The answer to what makes you happy isn’t in the past, it’s in the present.   You are at a fork in your life, choose the path that lights the inner, best you, that you can be.
  4. Use Divorce as a Starting Point for Personal Growth.   Reboot your life.   Take your life’s lessons and start over.   Focus on the positive things you’ve learned and use those as a springboard to head in a new, more fulfilling direction.  Even if all you learned is what you don’t like use that to your advantage in a new start. 
  5. Love Yourself.   There is no substitute for loving yourself whether you are in a marriage or not.   The world just looks better when you feel better.   Sometimes you need an experience that will help you feel good about yourself making it easier to love yourself.  We are all guilty of putting too much emphasis on what we perceive as our flaws.  See the beauty that others see in you through a modern portrait that captures your best self.    There is a lot of power in seeing the best you in a tangible format.   It also gives you something to look at when you need the little extra bit of encouragement to be feel your best self.

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